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Divorce Proofing Marriage



Mark 10:7, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife”


I am quite certain that no who has been through a divorce would recommend going through one.  However, many marriages that begin with good intentions end in divorce.  The marriage God intended to be a blessing becomes broken.  As a result, a couple files for divorce seeking to legally separate and go their own way.  A divorce is not a clean sanitary separation.  Often times children are left reeling, friends take sides, and family members are affected.  Jesus addressed the issue of divorce in Mark 10:1-12.  Some Pharisees asked Jesus if a man could divorce his wife.  These Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus in His response.  The question was relevant because divorce was culturally prevalent and a man would seek to put his wife away for petty reasons.  In response to the Pharisees Jesus gives an understanding of God’s design and desire for marriage.  One can clearly see that God is not in favor of divorce.


With that said, here are four keys to divorce proofing your marriage.


  1. Love big. 


    Instead of looking for a reason to get out of a difficult marriage love big.  Love is not an emotion.  To love in sickness and in health takes more than an emotion.  To love in richer and poorer takes more than an emotion.  The love necessary for marital success is found only through understanding and applying the sacrificial love of Jesus.  We must love sacrificially like Jesus.  The Bible says in Colossians 3:14, “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”


  2. Yield your heart to Jesus. 


    In response to the Pharisees, Jesus explained that the people in Moses’ day were permitted to divorce because their hearts were hard.  Sometimes our hearts can get hard.  John Piper explains that there are a couple of reasons why a heart is hard.  Perhaps, a heart can be hard because it is unregenerate.  God can change your heart.  In Ezekiel 36:26 we read, “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”  A heart can become heart because it has been hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.  We read in Hebrews 3:13, “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”  If a marriage is to enjoy marital success the husband and wife must be yielded to Jesus. 


  3. Resist cultural norms.


    What if you were driving down the highway in excess of the speed limit and get pulled over?  The officer walks up to your car window and discusses your excessive speeding.  You reply to the officer, “You see sir, I was just trying to keep up with the flow of traffic.”  Do you think you will get off without repercussion?  No!  You will either get a ticket or a warning.  Either way your in trouble and your excuse is invalid.  Marriages that will last the test of time will do so because they resist the cultural precious that says marriage is just a temporary commitment you can get out of if things get difficult.  The Bible says in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” 


  4. Embrace reconciliation.


    Jesus explained that a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.  The two then become one flesh.  The man is then to hold his wife fast.  No where in scripture are we promised a marriage without conflict.  Therefore, a couple that remains faithful in their marriage will need to be able to reconcile along the way.    


May God bless you and give you marital success as you apply these four keys to divorce proof your marriage.



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